i'm going through this period when all i want is stability.
The other day i was driving down the road running an errand for work and i saw this woman sitting in her nice little house in front of a nice big window working on something on her computer. As I stared at her I was overcome with a feeling close to envy. I want to work at home, to make my own schedule, and to have that nice little home that is my sanctuary and place of 'freedom'.
i think something is wrong with me i usually don't crave safety, stability and domesticity. hmmm...maybe im getting old.
I want the latter or i want to get out of here and start traveling.
but i am exactly where i am suppossed to be so i guess i'll have to be patient.
5 comments:
there is nothing wrong with wanting more...
no one ever imagines less...
You posted a comment on my blog a while back that said something similar, so here are your words in all of their splendous wisdom (really):
"Your need for stability, your desire to get married, have children and a house do not, in any way, disqualify you, or make you any less of the fire, the passion, the reason, and the love that make you an activist. If we were to not nourish these ideals within our activist community then what are we fighting for? We are fighting for stability in peace, in justice, in economic sustainability that allows everyone to have that dream of marriage and children, and for those things to be a reality in a community that celebrates these daily things that have been made ugly by patriarchal society, but they are not.
Get Married.
Have children.
Have a house.
But raise your children to be activists because that is one of the best ways that we can break the cycle (besides not having them but thats not for everyone).
I'm rambling and I hope i havre gotten my point across.
I love you."
I definitely agree with the rev, a road trip would be nice but ultimately it's only momemtary satisfaction.
Thanks yun jin for throwing me back my words.
...and yes of course its alright to want more, but how much more is okay to want?
i think i just need to make some changes in my life and thats a good thing.
okay?
okay is subjective, ask yourself...
maybe thats not you are fight for and I am not fightinf to maintain some bullshit socail construction that work to rid myself of to the best of my ability every day. I am talking about choice. should we not be able to have rituals and culture that is absent of oppression. Should we not be able to decide when to have children? with whom to have children? to not have kids or to have them? breeding is in our nature whether we like it or not, people want to have kids and it isn't any body's fucking business to stop them. So, should we not fight for a place where we can have children consciously, with the rest of the world in mind and in a world, or at least a community that is absent of oppression?
It is not my place or any body elses place to say that having children is inherently wrong. I myself cant think of any unslefish reason to have children so I wont have them, but if I were living in a different world, in a different society that was nourishing and not over populated I might want to hgave children.
This is a small part of the struggle. My response to YJC's blog post was also about having children mine was not. as for marriage wanting stability etc, is it selfish want only that and to only pursue that, or make it more of your life than change, yes that is selfish, but to want it is not. How many people in the world want to fight against decolonization so they can have stability in their country? in thei homes? the simple idea, having a home and stability and peace, being able to live your life in the way you choose and in peace, is this not part of our struggle for freedom, choice, and all that shit?
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