ugh

after three days of being sick I am up and walking again. Ive been in a daze all weekend. I missed halloween festivities the first halloween in a long time I was actually kind of excited about them. But I guess my body needed a rest. I haven't shown my body that much positive attention in a long time. Maybe I should rethink this whole "burn the candle at both ends" way of life. Comparatively I guess I don't really live that way but close enough.
I went downtown to get a hot chocolate tonight and i felt almost like I had culture shock. Three days of not participating in society was enough to make me extra sensitive to all the crap. But really Ive become more sensitive in general to all the crap. Especially when it comes to cities. in the past two months I have spent a decent amount of time in the s.f./ santa cruz area and sacramento. Each time I go to a city I feel more and more disgusted. I realized a few days ago that if I am going to teach, or do something else that will allow me to have a farm one of these days I am going to have to go to a city, probably. If I am lucky I can land some job at a community college in some relatively small college town or something...im crossing my fingers. And what about grad school I'll probably have to go to a city for that. I don't feel much escape from not living in a city at least once....(well I used to live in the bay so I guess I can't say at least once.)
Another rant of complaints.
peace out.