what?

I had this weird dream last night. It was that i tlived across the street from a forest, a really beautifull forest that was most, mossy, with huge trees and lots of different kinds of animals. There was this community that lived inside the forest and they weren't very nice. If you did something wrong, like disobeyed their cultural values, religious beliefs etc, you were put in a cage and thrown into this man made hella deep pit of water. Well, pit isn't really the right word because it was very wide and more like a hug square. Whatever anyway. I got thrown in to the pit with two boys. I had my had and feet bound and they were bound together. One of the boys drowned and the other one busted out some pocket knife and cut us both loose. All of a sudden another girl gets thrown into the water. We're all constantly swimming aournd, waiting of the point when we get tired and eventually just let ourselves go under. The three of us get into some conversation about somethingor other and rape comes up. All of a sudden I know the boy is goping to try and rape me. He still has the knife but the knife is really small and we're in a huge vat of water so I don't see how raping me is going to be that easy for him. That was pretty much the dream. Not that exciting but scary and almost haunting. I don't understadn why I alwlys fucking dream about water.

I have been so resentful of people lately. I don't even know what I am resenting them for. I am easy to anger, easy to make cry (even though i hide it like a tough girl should right?). I have a couple thoughts on what it may all be about but everything I feel has been intenmsified to such a large extent that I need to figure out whats really going on with me other wiseI am probably going to start pissing people off and hurting their feelings. I know this cycle well. I actually thought I wouldn'r come back to it. But here I am.