vacation

SOOO much to say. I was on vacation all last week, it was good and bad.
Went surfing for my first time and I am totally in love with it, as I knew I would be, I love any water sports that don't involve things like motors ( I hate speed boats and the like). I discovered that I really like Santa Cruz. Its my second choice for cities in cali, Chico being the first.
I talked so much shit this weekend about everybody, its actually made me feel a little dirty, but whatever, fuck em all...I'm a really good friend.
I've been hanging out with nate a lot and brad and I continue to become better friends. It seems we're all bonded by alcohol and frustration, disappointment, and exhaustion.
During the whole santa cruz trip I couldn't wait to get back to being around males. I wanted people I couldn't tease, say shut the fuck up to, be rude and crude with, but it makes me sad that I would rather hang out with males than with women. I've found myself defending my male friends so much lately that my female 'friends' have questioned to my face why I defend them so much, why I am not defending them more, why I am not on 'their side'. I'm not on their side cause they are full of shit. I'm angry at them when I see them, when I don't see them i feel indifferent to their existance, not women in general of course, just some I know.
i am frustrated with female feminists, we're all so fucked up. I have way more patience with male feminists than I do with female feminists, it makes me feel like shit.
I miss the beach already. I want to surf again right this minute damnit!

I feel like telling everyone to go to hell.
I feel like an elitist.
I feel like I'm wrong about everything.
I feel like I want to burn everything down.
I feel like I want to ...fuck i don't know.
I'm out. Peace.